Your Grandma's Divorce Tips

Chances are that you heard more than one idiom that made you scratch your head while growing up. After all, who has ever tried to herd cats? And have you actually seen it rain cats and dogs?  Well, as it turns out, some of grandma’s old phrases can come in handy when you are going through a divorce. Here are nine divorce tips that you could have learned from grandma:

  1. A stitch in time, saves nine. If you see a problem, it may be best to tackle the problem right away. If you wait it out until it becomes untenable, it will likely require more effort to resolve. For example, don’t agree to follow difficult parenting time arrangements at the outset that you know you can’t manage in the long-term as it may not be easily undone in the future.
  2. Don’t make a mountain out of molehill. While it is good to tackle some problems right away, do not let the little things get you in a funk. If you make mountains out of molehills, you might not be taken as seriously by your ex when a big issue arises.
  3. Two wrongs don’t make a right. This one may just be the “golden rule” of divorce. If your co-parent frustrates you, don’t attempt to retaliate. For example, your ex is not abiding by Court order. You’re frustrated and may have every right to be, but one person’s failure to comply doesn’t make your retaliatory failure to comply right. Consider filing an enforcement action instead.
  4. If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Do not disparage your co-parent in front of your children. Telling your children details about the cause of the breakdown of the marriage, especially when that involves blaming the other parent, is a common way to breed distrust.
  5. Don’t buy a pig in a poke. Do not accept a settlement offer without understanding its true value first. Do your due diligence. Take the time to review the financial documents so you know the value of the things that are being offered.
  6. You’ll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. If you want to reach a settlement, this is a handy idiom to remember. You can be firm in your positions without the need for hostile confrontation, which is not likely to get you far if you want to reach a resolution quickly. Find an attorney who knows how to find the right balance of firm and amicable.
  7. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink. If someone is not ready to settle, you cannot force them into an agreement. Your ex might be so accustomed to saying “no” to you that they may not be prepared to say “yes” even if what you are offering is fair and reasonable.
  8. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Drink water. Exercise. Seek out a therapist. Make time for yourself when you can. Divorce can be stressful. It is important to make both your mental and physical health a priority.
  9. A trouble shared is a trouble halved. Going through a divorce can be scary. You might feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. You don’t have to do it alone. Find your empowerment team. Hire the right family law attorneys to guide you through the process so you can focus on what matters at home.

If you are ready to start your empowerment team, contact the experienced family law attorney at Cohn Lifland.